تويت
WIFE VS HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to
concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a
day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything
to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I
would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee
each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we
don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should
do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the
top of several pages that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each
other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, "Please
wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she
would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn't wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."