she was
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رد: she was
بما اني فاضيه ولله الحمد :)
كنت افكر ي اترجم المقطوعات من اللغه الانجليزيه للغه العربيه :)
وتكون خواطري مترجمه
ايه رأيكم؟!!!تعليق
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رد: she was
Excellent dear ...
simple composition of feelings but it has a dramatic taste
She sank in a bad things ,
She was as a small stone at a big ocean ,
She scared ,
No air to breath ,
No earth to stand ,
No life to live ,
So she died .
Till these lines , the English was good .. but you've made some mistakes here
i hope my simple remarks will be helpful for you
:
( the words painted in red are the mistakes )
She sank in a bad things ,
while the correct sentence must be this way :
She sank in bad things
( you should eliminate the determiners " a" , or " an" before any plural subject or object )
i personally prefer it this way :
She was indulged / involved / stuck in bad things
because the verb " to sink " is usually used with words like sea/ water ... etc
::
She was as a small stone at a big ocean
While the correct sentence should be this way :
She was as a small stone on a big ocean
::
She scared
Ok , here you forgot to add the verb " to be " in the sentence .
exactly , where i've put the brackets
because any sentence without a verb is no longer a verbal clause
So , it should be correctly written in this way :
She was scared
( here the verb "to be " is in the past tense )
Never forget that the English form of sentences is
Subject + Verb + Object
::
No earth to stand
Ok , here you should have put it this way :
No earth to stand on
and i personally prefer using " ground " instead of " earth "
that gives it a more accurate meaning
التعديل الأخير تم بواسطة Off The Grid; 08-09-2011, 11:30 PM.تعليق
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